10 Reasons not to vote Mitt Romney

It’s hard to avoid the USA and apparently they’re having an election which will undoubtedly be cropping up in pub debates across the land so here are ten reasons not to vote for the silver haired, bigamy loving, zillionaire.

10. Obamacare: Even his fellow Republicans have picked up on his flipflopping, one minute he loves something that sounds a lot like Obamacare the next he’s going all out to repeal it. We think he’s just ticked off it isn’t called Romcare (which sounds like the name of an antivirus software).

9. Gay marriage: Romney wants a small government that doesn’t get involved with your everyday life, but he wants to tell you who you can marry.

8. Abortion: Romney does not support abortion even in the case of rape.

7. Romney likes firing people.

6. Candy: Romney likes to make up facts, luckily good old Candy was on hand to correct him.

5. 47 percent: How can a man lead a country when he thinks 47 percent of the inhabitants “who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them.”

4. Rich: Could you get away with saying “When I was a boy, I used to think that becoming rich and becoming famous would make me happy. Boy was I right” in any other country in the world and still run for President? Probably Italy.

3. Despite being stupidly rich he doesn’t like to pay taxes.

2. Mormon: Have you seen what those guys believe? It is crazy and sectionable. What sane person would baptise their deceased athiest father-in-law in an attempt to break them out of hell (we’re not making this up, we really wish we were).

1. Loser: Mitt is a loser. Who really wants a President that lost to the guy who lost to George Bush?

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